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American Title II Archive
My first completed manuscript, The Raven's Revenge, was a finalist in the American Title II contest put on by Romantic Times magazine and Dorchester Publishing. It was an amazing opportunity for an unpublished author to connect directly with the reading public and I had a blast! If that's how you have come to find me: welcome. This is the area on my website where you can read my submissions to each round and the judges comments. Although I was eliminated after Round Four, I have included my final entry which never appeared in Romantic Times magazine or on their website.
I want to thank EVERYONE who voted for me and my book. The support of friends, family, and romance fans made this experience very, very fun.
Round One
The first round of voting in the American Title II contest took place in November, 2005. Here's my entry as it appeared, and the judge's comments:
THE RAVEN'S REVENGE
First Line:
Nicholas Montford, Seventh Earl of Ashton, struggled through the dense foliage, clutching his shirtsleeve to staunch the blood
streaming down his arm.
Judges' Comments:
Flavia Knightsbridge--Blood and wounds already! Nice way to start in on the action.
Hilary Ross--Good, straightforward opening sentence about the hero that
gets your attention.
Leslie Kazanjian--A very emphatic opening, suggesting breathless
tension, danger and a nobleman, to boot!
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Round Two
The second round of voting took place in December, 2005. Here's my entry as it appeard and the judge's comments:
THE RAVEN'S REVENGE
Heroine:
Raised a dutiful Puritan, Katherine Anne Welles chafes in her life of obedience and restraint. But when her domineering father arranges a marriage with their villainous neighbor, she flees into the arms of a wounded highwayman, even though she mistrusts his offer of help. Traveling together, the Cavalier's stolen kisses awaken a deep and powerful yearning in her. As they evade their pursuers, Katherine discovers the perils of the road are no match for the perils of her own heart.
Hero:
The exiled Earl of Ashton, Nicholas Montford, returns to England determined to reclaim his family lands. As a highwayman called the Raven, he takes revenge upon the Puritans who thrived while his family suffered. But when he kidnaps heiress Katherine Welles, thoughts of revenge take second place to kissing her soft lips and teasing the mistrust from her eyes. Can he find redemption in the arms of the woman he will eventually betray?
Judges' Comments:
Flavia Knightsbridge--Yet another vengeance-loving but easily-distracted-by-anything-in-a-corset hero. And another goody-two-shoes heroine. You're losing me, people.
Hilary Ross--The hero and heroine appear to be well matched both personally and in terms of the plot.
Leslie Kazanjian--A pretty Puritan and a dangerous highwayman, a tale of redemption and revenge, of hot kisses and cold betrayal -- I can't wait to accompany Katherine and Nicholas as they venture into the perils of the heart!
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I posted a response from my characters in my contest blog. You can sill read it if you chick here.
Round Three
Here's what was posted for best Story Summary in January, 2006, and the judges comments:
THE RAVEN'S REVENGE
Story Summary:
Fate brought Nicholas Montford, Earl of Ashton, wounded and alone to the
cottage he'd known as a child. Destiny brought heiress Katherine Welles
through the storm to save his life.
On the verge of a forced betrothal, Katherine flees her domineering father
and the villainous man he means her to marry. She must get safely to the
protection of her cousin, but traveling with a dashing highwayman who won't
ask directions is anything but safe. Especially when his searing hot kisses
awaken a yearning for something Katherine never knew she wanted.
Nicholas can't believe his good luck. After a long exile, he's back in
England to honor a promise to his dying father: to reclaim his family
lands, granted to Katherine's family by Cromwell. Traveling to London --
with Katherine in his control -- means he can ransom her for his estate. He
doesn't expect to admire this forthright woman or for her to blossom,
becoming ever more attractive and fascinating the further she gets from her
home -- a home she vows to never see again.
They evade their enemies while fighting their rampant desire. But after
narrowly avoiding capture, Katherine and Nicholas fall into each other's
arms. A night of passionate lovemaking changes all.
Will Nicholas be able to give up the promise he made to his father and
honor his heart instead? When Katherine discovers his ruse, will she be
able to forgive him and trust again? And though providence brought them
together, will their new love be strong enough to survive the turn of
fortune's wheel, or will they be flung apart forever...
Judges' Comments:
Flavia Knightsbridge--Stranded by a storm in a cottage, nursing wounds, a
dying father's wish: I'm thinking you've got a checklist of stock romance
scenes next to your computer. Tell me, is she disguised as a boy at any
point, and does she completely win over the surly staff at the estate with
her sunny demeanor? Sounds like a recipe for mediocrity.
Hilary Ross--A heroine fleeing unwanted marriage is pretty standard
stuff, although the conflict over ancestral lands may add some interest.
Leslie Kazanjian--A dashing highwayman who "won't ask directions"? A
forthright heiress who refuses to go home? I can't wait to read this story
of ransom, ruses and "rampant desire."
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To read what one of my characters had to say about the judge's comments, click here.
Round Four
In February, 2006, the entries for Best Dialogue Scene were published. Here's my entry and what the judges had to say about it:
THE RAVEN'S REVENGE
Dialogue Scene:
Nicholas cracked an eye open. "What are you doing here?"
"Cleaning your wound."
"This I know. But why?"
Katherine's fingers tightened on his arm as she gazed off, worrying her
lower lip with her teeth. On another woman, he would have thought the
gesture flirtatious, a calculated effort to draw his attention to her
mouth. But he could tell she was unaware of it.
Her voice, when she finally answered, was almost too soft for him to hear.
"If I had left you to die, I would be as wicked as he who tried to kill
you."
"No one tried to kill me," he scoffed. " 'Twas an accident."
" 'Tis not what I heard." She shook her head and went back to work
on his arm. "My neighbor, Richard Finch, said he shot the Raven."
"What has that to do with me?"
"Are you not the Raven?" She looked down at him, eyes wide.
"Do I look to be a bird?"
She ignored his attempt to parry. "The Raven I speak of is an outlaw."
"Do I look like an outlaw?" He gave her his most sincere and
noble look.
She studied him. "Indeed you do. But if you are not the Raven,
then I apologize."
He laughed. It made his head hurt, but the rest of him felt better.
"If I am the Raven, why would a good Puritan lass like you tend to me?"
"I am not a Puritan." She picked up a clean piece of bandage.
"No, of course not. I remember now. You're one of our dear King's ladyloves. We were introduced when last I was at Whitehall. The injury
to my head must have confused me."
She eyed him doubtfully and pressed cool fingers to his cheek.
Nicholas caught her hand in his good one and willed her to look directly at him. Her fingers were long and delicate, her eyes
apprehensive.
" 'Twas a jest," he said, unable to keep the exasperation from his voice. "
'Twas meant to make you laugh." But she didn't look like she'd laughed at
anything for a very long time.
Judges' Comments:
Flavia Knightsbridge----This dialogue is a little sing-songy, which could prove quite irksome in your average 300-plus-page historical. You might want to watch your sentence structure and narrative rhythm.
Hilary Ross----Generally effective, but the Raven asks the heroine again why she is helping him after she already told him. Also, the use of "twas" is off-putting.
Leslie Kazanjian----This exchange reveals intriguing hints about the main characters and their conflict in an appealing, poignant way. I suspect the reader would happily read on.
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The Final Entry
Finally, here is what I sent in for Best Romantic Scene. Since I did not make it into Round Five, it was not voted on or judged--so this is like the bonus material on a DVD. ;)
THE RAVEN'S REVENGE
Romantic Scene:
She turned to him and threw her arms around his neck. Her bare breasts pressed against his chest through his linen shirt, awakening a physical need so strong Nicholas almost groaned aloud.
He pulled back, fearing she could see the lust in his heart. But he could not look away. Her eyes glistened, and her hair fell in a delightful tangle.
Dragging her hands down his chest, Katherine grasped his shirt. "I would rather kiss you than do anything else," she said, her voice almost a whisper.
As she brought her lips to his, Nicholas's good intentions melted away.
It was a kiss of wild despair, a kiss of need. Artless. Passionate. What it lacked in artifice it more than made up with intensity. His arms tightened around her, and he crushed her to him. The fire beside them sparked. Fever ran through his veins. He ran a hand over her curves as she clung to him.
A voice in his head said he should hold back, she could not know what she was doing, and if he had any sense of honor he would tell her.
She was not some trollop he'd found at an inn, or an experienced lady at court who knew the game of love; she was a simple country girl, grateful for her rescue. He'd taken her from her home promising her safety. But he'd given her none. He'd teased her, taunted her, and tormented her with kisses; given her the first taste of arousal.
He was a scoundrel and a knave.
Nicholas sucked in a deep breath, hoping it would moderate his pounding heart and throbbing loins. "I am no hero."
Her breath caught. She went still in his arms, looking up at him in surprise.
"I know you are grateful," he said. "But it is not necessary to express it in this fashion."
"I do feel gratitude, but I do not kiss you for it." Katherine traced a finger along his ear, sending tender sensations all through him. Her eyes focused on the fastenings of his linen shirt. "I kiss you because it pleases me." Her fingers trailed down from his ear to run feather-light over his lips and down his shirt to the fabric tie at the neck. "I should not have run away." A light smile played upon her lips. "I was afraid of your kisses." She tugged the knot apart exposing his chest and put her hand inside his shirt-opening.
The air sizzled between them. Nicholas's chest burned where her hand rested on his bare skin. His heart throbbed almost painfully, as did his loins. He let out a long breath.
"I am not afraid anymore." She looked into his eyes and smiled, an innocent seductive smile that made his heart twist.
"Ah, lass, do you have any idea what you do to me?"
"I think it must be very like what you do to me." She leaned forward, raising her lips to his. "Please do it some more."
Nicholas groaned. He was a knave to be sure. She needed comfort, but she asked for passion. So he would give it to her.
He lowered his mouth until it met hers.
Heat ran through Katherine as Nicholas's lips played with hers, alternately soft, then demanding. Never had she wanted anything as much as she wanted to be with him, like this. She marveled at his many textures. The smooth firm muscles of his shoulders, the hard tendons in his neck, the softness of his lips and tongue, the roughness of his shirt as it brushed her tender nipples.
It seemed each moment since she first came upon him, had inevitably led to this one, this moment that would change the course of her life forever, this moment that would change her forever.
Nicholas buried his hands in her hair. Katherine exhaled in a puff as his lips left hers to trail over her chin and down her throat. Each tantalizing movement of his mouth sent warm shivers surging through her.
Easing her from his lap to the floor, he settled beside her. His hair brushed across the sensitive skin of her breasts as his tongue traced the line of her collarbone, not tickling exactly but sending delicious thrills over her hot skin.
His mouth came up to hers. His teeth grazed her upper lip. He suckled on it as he drew up her skirt. Inch by agonizing inch, the hem rose, passing her ankles, her calves, exposing her skin to the cool air. The kiss deepened, becoming more urgent.
She gasped with shock as his fingers slid under the satin fabric, touching the bare skin behind her knee. In a slow torture, they moved along the inside of her thigh until they reached the apex of her legs. Through the flimsy material of her drawers, he touched her in a place she'd never been touched before.
Katherine clamped her legs together.
"Do you wish me to stop?" Nicholas's voice was thick and rough. He took his hand away.
Katherine let out her breath in a shudder, trying to ease the jittery tension building inside her. More than she had ever wanted anything, she wanted him to continue. Shaking her head, she eased her thighs apart.
"I trust you."
Nicholas stroked her thigh and gave her an odd smile. "Do you now?"
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